Creepy oil paintings of random people are a thing y’all. We have an Indian man (or Pilgrim? I can’t decide. Also how does one tell?), but we hit the mother load of creepy art a few months back.
Nick was day tripping in Austin. I was scouring craigslist down there for a night stand for the nursery. I had these day dreams that I’d find the perfect Ron Swanson-esque piece for insanely cheap. Then Nick would swoop in and bring that baby back to complete the room.
I casually mentioned this idea to Nick. Then he sent me a listing for these guys…
Confused older man in green. Let’s call him Willard. He likes long walks on the beach and puppies. Willard is struggling with the idea of using Just for Men. You can see the inner debate all over his face.
Maude who is debatably either 15 or 55. She is obviously a librarian who values modesty over all else. Her idea of a wild time is pairing her pink blouse with shockingly pink blush and lipstick.
Edna prefers to dress in monochromatic outfits and refuses to smile. She takes a no nonsense approach to life and was offended when she realized the painter chose red as her background. She feels like it’s probably Willard’s fault and is considering hiring Veronica Mars to prove it.
Phyllis is the positive one of the bunch. She smells of chocolate chip cookies and the color blue. Her affinity for brass animals and hoarding antique objects has made her transition into Wills Casa pretty seamless.
Welcome to the family ya creepy oil paintings. They were listed for $200 for all 4. I asked the seller if she would take $150 for all if not I’d just take 1 which is all we really wanted/needed anyway. She said she wanted to keep them together (despite advertising differently) but would take $185 for the 4. Deal.
They are in excellent condition and recently reframed. Although we don’t really care for the style of frame, it isn’t offensive or anything. (As if a frame could be offensive? Especially one containing a picture of a creepy person.) The canvas is 20 x 24, so it’s pretty substantial art for $46 a piece.
The most hilarious thing is my mom came over and asked who Phyllis was. She kept asking me insisting I give her an answer like we actually knew and just wouldn’t tell her. I tried to explain that I had no idea who it was. It was a very confusing time for all which is probably why I felt the need to name each one of these guys in this blog post. You’re welcome.
So what do you think fan of creepy oil paints or no? If you follow on instagram you’ve seen one of these find it’s place around here.
i LOVE these! you can ask sarah though- i have a thing for creepy art.
It really is the best kind of art. It doesn’t pretend to be anything else.
Bahahaha, these are so amazing, especially with the little personalities and back stories you’ve given each member of the “Creepy Clan”. Love them! These portraits would be Emily Henderson approved for sure!
The only thing about having 4 is the tend to talk about you behind your back. It’s a real jerk move of them.
If you hang Edna and Willard side by side, she is glaring at him disapprovingly and he looks wilted. I love the artist who painted these.
We have to keep them separate though. There’s enough tension around here! I wish I knew who painted them, but there’s nothing visibly marking them.
These are awesome! Do their eyes move when you walk by?
Yes and sometimes they sneeze or make disapproving comments about what’s on tv.
Awesome. I can’t even pick a favorite; they’re all so fabulous in their own ways. I love the story about your mom….she believed that you had this secret person in your life SO IMPORTANT that you commissioned a portrait of her.
I know! I was thinking about unloading 1 or 2, but I can’t. It’s partly the fact that I’m a hoarder, but also how do you determine which one can’t be in your family anymore.
Normally I would have made up some story about how it was a relative of Nick’s or something, but she was so serious I just couldn’t even lead her on. Also my Aunt and Grandma were there, so that would have made me look bad.
Is it weird that I feel like there is a love triangle going on somewhere with these guys?
I think you’re onto something here Jenn…
But if you had to choose just one, which would it be?
Too difficult. That would be like playing favorites with your kids. I will say that 2 have a semi-permenant place around here and the other 2 are with all my other stuff (aka in the hoard room). I have a place for the others, but I haven’t even ventured to start a design plan for those spaces. They will just have to be patient!
I take offense to Maude’s description…just saying.
I knew you would, but I wrote it anyway. I modeled her after my favorite librarian! 😉
I think I would feel like I was being watched all the time. I have no doubt you will style these in an uber-cool and non-freaky way but I don’t think they’d fare so well in my house!
We are being watched all the time!! I hope I won’t disappoint you with their styling! 😉
HA hahahah… Love all these fun personalities you came up with. I mean described. I can give you some background info on Edna. She is the younger sister to late Margarete Thatcher. Now you can’t unsee it. You’re welcome right back
I love these paintings. Almost as much as their back stories. It’s probably a tie!
Oh juice gossip on Edna, and you’re right I cannot unsee it!!
Your mom wants to know who Phyllis is? I think it is me LOL! Tell her it’s the “crazy German” because the description just reminds me of someone: Julia is the positive one of the bunch (although maybe not for the past couple of weeks). She smells of chocolate chip cookies (or German beer) and the color blue. Her affinity for brass animals and hoarding (in general) antique objects has made her transition into Wills Casa pretty seamless.” And I just knew I would transition into the Wills mansion seamlessly!!! I’ve always wanted to do that 😉 I’ll be moving in shortly, haha
Bahaha Julia that’s perfect! I will always look at Phyllis and think of you. Although let’s be real you are way better looking!
Thanks 😉
Seriously, Julia IS way better looking than Phyllis. Phyllis actually looks like my cousin Kris with dyed hair.
And Edna looks exactly like my childhood neighbor Myrtle, who in fact had a sister-in-law named Edna. They didn’t look like party people, but they always had big family parties at their house every weekend. Willard does not look at all like Myrtle’s husband Luther, or Edna’s husband, whose name I don’t recall.
I’ve got nothing on Maude.
I’d be down for partying with Myrtle and/or Edna
I am dying. hilarious.
Amber is a nut.
love it!
now what does one do with a family of 4 paintings? hmmm…..
I love that you named them and that your mom thinks you are hiding a secret! What a cool find!
Amber’s mom is crazy
Is Edna secretly Margaret Thatcher?
Probably. Wait, Definitely.
This is just too much. I cannot stop giggling at your mom thinking you knew Phillis and wouldn’t tell her. Too much, I tell you.
Is it just me or are these paintings staring at me?
They are totally staring at you and you like it!
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What a fantastic find! #grownupart #2legit2quit
You know Austin has all the goodies.
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Hi Amber, This is my first visit to your blog and I’m in love. Came over via Brynne’s post on art at The Gathered Home (I have a few photos included too.) I love flea market/ Ebay/Craigslist /thrift store art and these guys are awesome! I have quite a collection of it myself and yes they get names too. Anyway, just letting you know you have a new fan. Maggie
Haha so awesome! I’m glad I’m not the only one who names their art!! It makes hoarding much easier when you have that personal connection! 😉